it is broken...

laughterjoy(:

2004-10-23T23:53:00.000+08:00

hey world hey homies! wow feeling so happy nowadays, thinking of flying haha. i don't even feel sad that my parents have left because they are going to a place where they can enjoy themselves and work at the same time, and i feel happy for them! seriously there's no pain or sorrow. well, reader, how's u today.. guess u came here expecting a super sad cry of anguish again? hahaha well self-pity's gotta be the worst thing u will ever have. so, live your life the way u want it, anyway u want it.

today i got trashed by seth in tennis and bball, so malu. haha oops yeah i didnt expect to lose, but i was sniffling(flu) all the way! can i help but lose? haha well. doesnt matter, i know that we'll stay gd friends no matter what(: unless...snigger(: Well i was just thinking about the guys that've pulled me through my tough times and all i hope you'll all stay healthy and strong! cos u gotta be there if i fall again, and i dont wanna keep u as a burden haha. no ways bros i'll be there 4 u when u need me. u know this life's been a crazy one, but now i think i can breathe easy.

i've found it! at last its here(:

its been a long and winding journey
and the trials made it a rough ride
but i know i can, i will, make it,
'cos you're here, with me, by my side.
thanks all!

the pieces

2004-08-23T23:04:00.000+08:00

ever noticed that everyone around you is getting hurt? more often than not, with relationships? i have. but why this trend? shucks i wish i could tell you the answer to that question, but i cant. cos i have been hurt, and i dont know why... and i dont even know if i'm all right.

when did i have to wait until before you told me? must've i waited for another person to tell me before i knew? do you know how that feels...? you're disgusting. you're cheap. dont blame your heart, the prob lies with you. no crap about being hurt too many times, that's... nonsense. all the pain you recieved, please take it away. dont transfer it to others. dont spread the hate. you know why you ended up like this? you asked for it.. dont deny it. so cut that innocent look off your face and suck this info up. :-[

if i wanted to be with you, it's all gone now, the feeling's all gone now. you're a money grabbing girl who throws herself at any guy along the way with a little spare change. and i dont know why but stop cheapening yourself by talking about your conquests. i dont care. nobody cares. you end up looking uglier than before. maybe that's what you want...? ok fine. good. very good. hairstyles or physical looks don't matter to a guy after a while, and the person inside shows. that conniving liar shows.

so grow up.
i dont hate you.
but please realise this: that you cant go on like this 4eva.
dont break all those sad guys into little fragments, little pieces.
like what almost happened to me.
or else...
ok.
for your own sake...
just dont let every1 hate you in the end.

ta-da!

2004-08-18T17:40:00.000+08:00

new or old...
old or new?
i have to choose
this post is dedicated to- life.

doing things by the old way, i'll be fine.
the job i can do, the life i can lead.
nobody will be sad or could possibly be disappointed.
but it wont satisfy me, and i wont go far.
...
doin things the new way?
i can be crushed. i can be obliterated. totally beaten down and left to rot.
i could become nothing.
then again...
i could become more than i ever dreamed of, be the person i'd wanted to be all my life.
the life i want...
the life i need...
is this what i want?
which is correct?
the path is up to me, i must choose.
but i want someone to help me, to stay by me. i want to be somebody.
but without someone i'll be nobody. so please, whoever you are, stay by me.
i choose the new way.

oooh......

2004-07-16T22:29:00.000+08:00

confused...
hurt...
tired...
haha, very tired...
lovestruck...
worried...
excited..
rejuvenated...
wiser for all of this!
thx 2 the girl who hurt me~
no hard feelings.

leavin, on a jet plane!

2004-06-19T22:57:00.000+08:00

hey, i'm gg to fly! haha, tom gg to uk, so excited abt it, hope uk is as i imagined, well, i wanna see... hmm im kinda lucky sumtimes i feel. luckier than some ppl hu get used and abused in life, those ppl sont get it yet, but soon... it'll show. i leave my country of personal turmoil and try to enjoy myself in a place where i can just forget anything and enjoy myself..(sounds gd!) so cool, carn wait!

i gtg now, packin yea? haha, bye!

stuck

2004-06-12T16:32:00.000+08:00

this morning, woke up with a hurry, my mind was in a hurry, my body was in a rush, everything was zoned and hurrying and rushing...
until i found out that there was no practice today.

just anotha time i got conned by my chairman again... sheesh. so irritated. never mind. is everything so bad? is every1 so evil? or is it... coincidence? hmm... i noe dis gal, and she just unconsciously hurts herself and those hu care... she doesnt know... y? muz some take the fall for others all the time? i dont know what to do with everything. all i know is that i'm being torn in so many directions. must it be that way...? maybe i should cut myself away from all this help i must give, this prescence i must maintain, but what would that leave me with? n-o-thing. what does the future hold if i do what i want, rather than what i must? what if the way i want to go is so dangerous that i could fall and fail but if i do succeed, da suffering is all worthwhile? does nobody care? does this life only give suffering, never... joy? you talk to me, but do you care? you hear me, but do you listen? ...you warned me, but did i heed? no... and i ended up with nothing. who can i blame but myself? this fascade i keep up is so fragile, so breakable, but it keeps me happy, protects me from the pain... then again, it blocks me from true happiness, trueness of my heart.. maybe i should just keep it inside, lock it away and throw the key. it will never materialise anyhows. i'm so surprised you actually read this whole chunk of stuff, even i wouldnt read this, haha... thanks for reading this. i'm stuck in all dis, and maybe there's someone who will help me, listen to me... are you reading this? whoeva this person is...

now i gotta sign off but, again, thanks for listening to me. stay happy!

intro: peaceofmind

2004-05-15T14:12:00.000+08:00

lately, been thinking about many things, about many problems. so, decided to cre8 this blog, just to let things out, hoping all ya readers dont get tired of reading and stuff. well, you prob will, lolz.

jus a lil' intro abt me first, im a guy from sg(da hottest humidest place on earth, haha) and proud of it. hmm, actually nows not a gd time to write, my brain is crammed with chinese characters and stuff... okoktrytry. from the best school in e world, Victoria School!(yup, i think so)... yep, and im those type hu really dont like to fuss ova stuff much, so hmm, i wont continue much, not much left to say, and gtg too, heheh, bye...